Like many artists out there, art is not just a "hobby" to me. I want this to be my career.
Since I have so much passion for what I do, I KNOW I will give it my all to do the things I love. I have worked on many commissions/contract for way longer than what I am being paid for. If you add it all up, I am actually getting paid a lot under minimum wage. I do it because I want my work to be up to my standards. I don't want to look back on them and say, "I only did this for the money." Honestly, everyone needs money to live and survive, so to say I completely did not take the commission for the pay would obviously be lying, but I don't want it to be my only purpose of accepting a job. I accept it because I enjoy it and knowing that I can do what I love, assures me that I will not be doing things because I "have to."

The reason why I am talking about this is because I'm very very scared. I'm scared I won't get a job doing what I worked so hard all these years to do. I'm scared because if things don't fall through, I have nothing to back myself up. I'm scared I won't have enough income to rely on myself. I'm scared I would let my parents down.

So many art jobs out there.. one requirement that discourages me the most is


"Minimum of X years experience required."


I did not come from the best art school and I barely know any connections, so I only have my own work to capture the employer's attention. What if someone else have similar level of works as I have, but have way more experience than I do? Would my resume and work be set aside and never be looked at again? There is one thing I really really want to say at an interview, but would probably never have the guts to:

I know I am not as experienced as everyone else that applies. My work may not look as great as theirs. I know there is not much I can do to prove myself except the work and resume I have given to you. If I was you I would also go for the people with years of studio experience. But this is what I truly love and I would give it my all to be able to achieve my dream and accomplish everything you throw at me. I may not have the experience everyone else have but I promise I will try my best to catch up and do everything I can to show you how much an opportunity like this means to me. I don't leave the best impression at interviews and don't always know the best words to say. But I really hope somehow there is a way to let me show you how hard I am willing to work without only having a few pages of works and words to prove myself.

I know a lot of the people in the industry may have also felt the same way. If every company is looking for people with experience, how do people like me survive? I would love to get experience. I really would.. but maybe compared to everyone else fighting for the same job, I am only just another applicant.

This is just a rant I wanted to release, because I am going to be finished with my portfolio soon, and will be applying to companies everyday starting May 7th (it was originally going to be in the beginning of May, but a one week contract lagged me a bit, not that I mind of course.) I actually have tried applying to a few things before when I felt I had enough work to show, but.. no reply.

I am still a firm believer of "as long as you keep on trying and giving it your all, you will succeed."

Even though this stage in my life is very hard for me, I still don't regret anything. I know it won't be easy, but honestly I won't be happy if I give this up. This may be really corny for me to say but one of the main reason I really love about animating and drawing is because I feel I would be able to have a chance of making someone smile or laugh a little. Sometimes when I receive comments like, "this made my day" or "I was having a bad day and this cheered me up a little," it warms up my heart. It really means a lot to me. No matter if they meant it or not, just having a little bit of influence makes me happy. This is why i also love drawing the Life Happens comics. I love drawing them and I love making people laugh, so it is something I wish to continue, even if I get busy with my job (although it may take a long time for me to upload another one..)

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but to me, the meaning of life is to leave a footprint on the world that will never disappear. This could mean a lot of things. Something like making someone happy for a day will affect someone else and so on. It may act as a continuous cycle that may last for generations. Since I am an artist, I hope I can achieve that with the things I do. Maybe somehow I can cheer someone up with a picture or comic. Even if it is a little bit, I feel like I at least made a small difference. I hope in the future when I release a book, it will exist somewhere even if it is in someone's room in the corner collecting dust, it will still mean a lot to me.